Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings
from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out
past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline
ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and
then make such an obvious error, he replied:
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place.... The man says "What's the problem officer?" Officer: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going 80. [Man gives his wife a dirty look.] Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. [Man gives his wife another dirty look.] Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man turns to his wife and yells: "Shut your damn mouth!" Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?" Wife says: "No, only when he's drunk."
Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General Motors. The comparison went like this: If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. In response to all this goading, GM responds: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes twice a day?
WHY WE'RE THE BEST!
WHY DETAILING?
Simple car washing only removes dirt.
Detailing restores beauty.
Careful removal of road tar, dirt and grime
Thorough cleansing of door jams & wheel casings
Tire dressing and sealing with anti-cracking gloss protectant
Gentle pre-waxing to remove fine surface scratches
Hand-applied sealant (System IV only) for maximum protection
Hand-applied top-quality Carnauba wax or polymer glaze
Professionally hand-buffed and polished finish
Trunk Detailing
Impeccably vacuumed and cleaned trunk area
(Optional - upon request)
Degreasing of all engine parts (if advisable)
Application of gloss protective finish to hoses and wires
(Detail Supreme Package only)
Application of wheel well undercoating for rust protection
Peerless vacuuming and fresh deodorization throughout
Complete cleaning of windows, chrome and dash
Shampooing and steam cleaning of upholstery and carpets
Vinyl trim cleaning and treatment with gloss sealant
Leather cleaning and nourishment with leather preserver
Detailing should normally be done every 4-6 months:
Commercial vehicles and cars left outside may require more frequent detailing service
To help restore your car's brand-new look
To prevent surface deterioration and undue wear
HOW HMA CAR CARE BEATS THE COMPETITION
If, for any reason, you're ever dissatisfied with the way your vehicle was detailed, HMA will re-do your vehicle within 7 days of completion absolutely free of charge.
